A Concerned Reader
/Dear Vikki, I have waited for some time before sending you this letter but I can wait no longer. I have noticed that you are not posting as regularly which is disappointing to say the last. While I don't generally think you are as funny as you think you are, I have on rare occasions been mildly amused. Even more concerning than the infrequency of your updates, however, is that the quality of your posts has declined significantly as well. I don't know how to say this and I certainly mean no offense but, lately, your writing has been shitty. In fact, it sucks and there are hundreds of other blogs out there that are more thought-provoking and entertaining than yours. You seem to care about your readers and your readership so I've begun to worry that maybe there is something wrong with you. I mean, really, what the hell is wrong with you?
XOXO,
Jane Doe*
Dear Jane,
Thank you for your thoughtfulness and the constructive criticism. As always, I love hearing from people who read my blog. There are many things "wrong" with me but none of those have any impact on the frequency with which I write. I have been going through a rather stressful time at work which has drained my energy. I am posting our correspondence on my blog (I know, another lame post) as well as a link to a video that might help you understand my current circumstances.
With great love and appreciation,
Vikki
p.s. I would totally understand if you ditched my blog and went on to read those other blogs to which you referred in your letter. I wish you nothing but the best.
p.p.s. Actually, that's a lie. I totally would not understand that. It would be hurtful and sad but I realize that you have to do what you have to do.
p.p.p.s. You know what?! I am pissed. After all the words I've poured out on this virtual page for you, you would desert my blog so quickly. Have you no shame woman? Really. Some people.
p.p.p.p.s. I am so sorry. That was uncalled for...I hope you still like me. Watch the video. Then, you'll understand what my life has been like recently. Hint: I am not the boss.
*I wrote this letter to myself which I'm sure you had figured out already. I hardly even get any e-mail correspondence regarding the blog let alone an actual "letter".