Like Singing in the Rain but with Less Grace and More Swearing

I had the day off today so I thought I'd go on a little MS150 training ride and I learned so much about biking. I believe that information is power  and I want to empower all of you. So, I am going to share my new found knowlege with you:

• Biking shorts are very flattering for one's legs but very unflattering for one's squishy midsection.
• When the sky is filled with black clouds and the forecast calls for rain, it is a really bad idea to leave your rain jacket at home simply because you find it ugly.
• When heading out on a ride, it is important to know where you are going or take a map. Spontaneity is a beautiful thing but so is knowing where you are and which directions the roads go.
• Fleece jackets are quite lovely and lesbionic but they do not repel water.
• When biking in a torrential downpour, one's glasses quickly become covered in water which negatively impacts visibility.
• Glasses do not come with teeny tiny windshield wipers.
• Kleenexes do not remain dry in the pocket of a wet fleece jacket.
• Roads become slippery when wet. There are signs that warn you of this phenomenon. They are neither lying nor exaggerating.
• Gear shifter thingamabobs also become slippery when wet as do pedals, handlebars and hand brakes. There are no signs that tell you this.
•  It is possible to bike north, east, south and then west and experience a head wind in each of those directions. 
• When biking in the rain, mud and wet leaves stick to one's legs. This is both uncomfortable and aesthetically unappealing.
• Biking uphill has not become easier or more pleasant in the last 14 years. With all of the technological advances in just about every area of life, this seems surprising.
• When you make it home and map your ride, do not cry when you find that you only biked 11 miles instead of a kabillion as you predicted. The computer has a hard heart and is immune to your tears.