Hello, Is It Me You're Looking For?

Contrary to how it may appear, I do remember that I have a blog. I never forget actually. The thought follows me around like an adorable kitten or a stalker depending on the day. I want to be writing here and, yet, I have to admit that I am struggling to do so. There are many reasons for this and I could list them and you would read them and you would be bored and, if you weren't bored, you would say nice things to me like, "Hang in there!" and "I think you're awesome!" or you would say mean things to me like, "Get out of your pajamas!" or "What has happened to you?" or "Remember when you were funny?" or "Can you give me money for a pineapple?" and I would say, "I'll try!" or "You're so sweet" or "Technically I'm in sweat pants" or "I'm a shell of my former self" or "Barely" or "I'll give you money for a pineapple if you'll pick one up for me too".

Basically, I have too much work and too many deadlines and too many children. I'm also down one parent because Luisa left for Ethiopia on 10/17 and won't be back until 11/4. But, really, my blogging problems started before that as you all can attest to (if you're even still reading? Are you still reading? Goodness, you're not still reading).

BUT...and who doesn't love a but? Heh. Pay attention because I'm about to make a big promise to y'all.

I am going to do NaBloPoMo once again which means I'll be blogging every single day in November. Given my recent blogging history, this is daunting but I've done it every year since I started blogging and I'd feel sad if I stopped now. So bear with me until next week and then I hope to deliver the writing goods every day for 30 days starting next Tuesday.

Until then...you should deliver some things to me like coffee...sanity...clean clothes...groceries...

The BlogHer Recap: I Laughed I Cried

I started this blog because I wanted to write and never imagined that anyone would ever read it. The first time a stranger left a comment I was shocked and, to this day, I am filled with awe every single time it happens. But comments are not just comments. They are tiny connections and this brings me to the epiphany I had while at BlogHer - the most important part of blogging is the relationships we build with each other.

I am not interested in building a brand. I don't expect to make my living blogging. I'm not going to be popular or famous. I don't need to strategize or learn to develop a business plan. This weekend, I realized that I want only two things out of all of this: to write and connect.

This weekend was all about connection. I was able to spend the entire weekend with my blog wife, Deborah. I hung out with people I connected with last year. I sought out people whose online presence I admire and chatted (or danced like a maniac) with them. I met new people but with the understanding that not all of us click and that's just fine. The result? I was comfortable in my own skin and had a fantastic time.

You're probably thinking, "But Vikki, what did you do?" Well, I cowered in my room for a couple of hours on arrival. I walked along the boardwalk by myself and got tacos and a Stone IPA. I ate and drank and went to parties. I spoke on a panel for the first time and wasn't booed off the stage. I stayed up too late every night talking. I got a free vibrator. I went to panels and was there to cheer on Riese from Autostraddle. I ate hummus while listening to Ricki Lake. I danced like a crazy person. I have no regrets.

Online relationships matter. Blog comments and twitter conversations make me laugh, make me think and sometimes help me through a rough day. I'm sure I'm not the only one for whom that is true. Most of us have people in our real lives who do the same things for us but there is always room for more. So, I am back and filled with gratitude.

Fine Print: I want to link to everyone I spent time with but am afraid of leaving someone out so I won't. I'm simply going to throw out some life-saving thank yous. I want to thank Deborah for continuing to be my friend despite the fact that I screamed "fuck" at 5:30 in the morning and scaring the shit out of her (after having just gone to bed at 4:30) when I realized the ice bucket was leaking all  over the floor. I would like to thank Britt for tucking my shirt in the back of my pants when I was dancing so frantically that my ass was literally hanging out of my pants. And thanks to bcdubs for getting me the latte that I spilled all over my white shorts. Those first few sips were delicious. I took no pictures or videos this weekend. This is for the best - trust me.

Surprise!

Well, up popped a fox! You might have noticed that this blog has been completely redesigned. If you haven't, you may an eye exam or a  mental status assessment.

I've tried changing the design of this blog twice before and people complained and pined for the days of old and I switched everything back. This time, however, the change is permanent.

I know that people loved the pics of the kids in the header but it was time for a change. First of all, I could never keep them updated because I'm busy with work and writing and parenting and peeps and life and worrying and Netflix instant. Secondly, the content of this blog has shifted in the past year or so. Yes, I still write about my kids but I find that I do so less often or differently. I wanted a new design to reflect that shift in my writing.

Because I have been genuinely busy lately, I took a big step and paid to have someone redesign the site for me. I worked with Cynthia at NW Designs to create this new look and she was very patient with me because I agonized over things and had a hard time making decisions. I kept thinking, "WHY IS THIS SO HARD?" And then I remembered that change is hard.

I'll be tweaking things around here for the next few weeks...categorizing posts, updating the pages, etc. but this is basically the all new Up Popped A Fox.  I'm sure we'll all get used to it eventually.