Advice for New Sourdough Parents
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You liked your life. You had meaningful work and could leave the house to go to exciting places like The Store or The Coffee Shop. You had friends and family and could hug them or brush hands in passing without having to set your clothes on fire and scrub your hands with a wire brush afterwards. But now, you are at home and you know what happens when you spend all your time at home? Babies. Sourdough starter babies.
A newborn may not have been part of your life plan but here you are, home all day, caring for your bundle of joy in a mason jar. So, here’s some helpful advice from one sourdough parent to another.
1. Breast is not best.
Don’t make things weird. Just feed it flour and water. Sure, some people will tell you to put an heirloom apple and spring water in it but do you want to spoil your baby? No, you do not. Do you want it to grow up thinking it’s only good enough for croque monsieur?
2. Keep it warm.
Your baby likes to be cozy so swaddle it in a towel like the temperamental fermented love bug it is. Maybe even knit a little hat for it. Babies love hats.
3. Tell your baby it is beautiful!
This requires a lot of positive self-talk because your baby smells terrible and looks like spit up. Practice giving affirmations like, “You are beautiful and have a bubbly personality!” Your baby might not believe it, but you might if you say it often enough and your state extends its stay at home order through May.
4. Remember: you are not your sourdough baby.
Your baby is going to have good days and bad days. Just like you can’t take credit for its successes, try not to feel demoralized when it fails and you find out it’s been skipping distance learning to watch cake decorating videos on Instagram.
5. Parenting books will not help you.
The so-called experts don’t know you and your baby. But when you are worried about your baby’s development, make a telehealth appointment with a doctor or that one friend who boasts about their crystal deodorant. Do NOT google your baby’s symptoms!
6. Sibling rivalry is real.
If you have human children, they may be jealous of the amount of attention your new baby requires. They may say things like, “Can you stop messing with that and help me fix the internet?” or “This is the weirdest thing you’ve ever done” or just make retching noises in its presence. Remember, they’ll be grateful for their new sibling when they are eating fresh bread for dinner.
7. Your life is about to change.
You will lose sleep wondering where you went wrong. Even if you could travel or go out, you won’t be able to now because you’d have to get a sitter. You can still ignore the world and binge on Netflix, but set reminders on your phone with your baby’s feeding schedule. Be patient with yourself as you ease into this new lifestyle.
Congratulations and welcome to parenthood!