Endeavor

I repaired the knob on my desk drawer today. After two weeks away from my desk, I sat down to work but felt the need to clean my desk first and, as I reached to grab the exposed screw to pull open the drawer to organize my pens, I had the radical thought, "I'm going to fix that drawer." I've been opening that drawer by grabbing that screw for two years now. Obviously, I'd felt no urgency to fix it until this morning.

I grabbed the wooden knob, went down to the basement, filled the hole with wood filler and returned to my desk. I pressed the knob onto the screw and was able to properly open drawer about 15 minutes later.

You could read that story and think of it as procrastination - a year ago, that's how I would have interpreted it. But, now, I can marvel at the sense of accomplishment I felt from this simple task and it reminds me of the greatest lesson I learned from the writing I did in November - there is value in the work.

I've often joked that I don't want to write; I want to have written. I want my words to have an impact. I want to be published. I want to make money from doing something I love. I have always had a tendency to focus on the end, rather than the steps along the way.

But I am learning that putting words on the page is worthwhile even if nothing else happens.

I don't make resolutions but I do believe in the power of setting goals. My goal this year is to endeavor, to settle into the process without needing to know how it will end. Maybe each time I open my desk drawer for a pen I'll remember that the thrill of repairing it exceeded the joy of it having been repaired.