Cher and Cher Alike

Sometimes, I commit to too many things. I'm sure this happens to you too, right? You think, "I can do that!" and "I can do that too!" and "Bring on all the things because I have all these empty thing slots to fill!"

Wait. That last one sounds wrong.

Let's all agree that we won't tell people to bring things for our empty thing slots.

Actually, when I put it like that - "thing slots" - it sounds like I have a pronounced lip and I am asking for sling shots. BRING ME ALL THE SLING SHOTS! Maybe sling shots could kill two birds with one stone which would be helpful given that I have too many birds and a serious shortage of stones.

Anyway, I have too much to do and, when that happens, I often make terrible choices regarding my time. It has been awhile since I documented my horrible choices so, today, I bring you a latest edition of Things I Did This Week When I Should Have Been Writing!

1. I contemplated moving to a yurt and then spent a significant amount of time using the Googler to find images of yurts to text to friends so that they could envision my new abode. This was similar to the time I texted a friend and told her I was going to become a longshoreman and then sent her images of longshoreman and used "longshore" as a verb, like "I can't text right now. I have to go longshore."

2. I sat in bed drinking bourbon and watching Cher videos on YouTube. If I could turn back time, I might put that evening to better use.

3. I spent a lot of time on Google searching "hip + short + hairstyles + women" and all the possible variants. Thank god for Pink.

4. Much like The Great Mascara Extravaganza before my wedding, I decided that I would start experimenting with my longer hair. So, I dug out my blow dryer and blew my hair dry for the first time since 1987. I used two different hair gels (one applied before drying and one after) and even parted it on the opposite side. Crazy. My hair and I spent a lot of time together this week and got closer which I didn't even think was possible because we were already so close. I love ya, hair.

5. I read Orange Is The New Black fan boards to see pictures of Laura Prepon filming for season 2 because I would run drugs for Alex Vause any day.

6. I wrote about trilobites at VillageQ and am baking the cake mentioned in that post right this very minute.

7. I agreed to play Words With Friends with Luisa even though I always lose which is embarrassing because English isn't even her first language.

8. I had to watch Celine Dion dance to Daft Punk's Get Lucky because Alexandra made me. Be kind to Alexandra and Celine because they lost to me and Cher.

Despite all of this, somehow, I managed to write a blog post every day here at Up Popped A Fox, three blog posts for VillageQ and 1,549 words on the final essay of my manuscript.

Maybe I'm not such a slacker after all.