Kids Are Funny - Part 4

I am heading to Atlanta for the TypeA conference today. I'll be leading a hands-on session about writing with Heather King which is going to be so much fun. We had a great planning call this week and talked about writing and bedbugs and murder. That's how these things go.

I leave for the airport in 3 hours or so and I haven't packed a thing. I did cut the back of my leg shaving so I have that going for me.

Funny story that has nothing to do with anything I've written so far...

Miguel came downstairs this morning with some beige cream all over his lips and around his mouth. He just walked up to me like he didn't have stuff all over his face and was all, "Hey mom, have you seen my folder for school?'

"What is all over your mouth?"

"Nothing."

"Uh yeah...it's something and it's all over the place!"

He touched his finger to his mouth and was like, "Oh, it's shea butter."

Now, I have two things of shea butter - one is for the body and one is for the lips. Given his history of using creams other than directed, I said, "Where did you get this shea butter?"

"I don't remember."

"You just put it on and don't remember?"

"I just found it and used it."

"Let me smell it."

He leaned in and I could tell it was the shea butter for lips. Thankfully.

The end.

Wasn't that a great story? This is why I get asked to speak at conferences about writing.

I would love to ramble more but Luisa finally got out the suitcase for me. I have to get dressed and packed and all that stuff. I am leaving you with the last funny kids' quotes from Twitter from 2011. There are some really good ones in this bunch and almost all the glory belongs to Zeca!

Have a great weekend!

"I know what I'm having for my birthday cake and I'm gonna call Martha Stewart and have her make it!" - Zeca (2011)

Luisa: "I want you to do what I tell you to do." Zeca: "What if you tell me to jump off a bridge? What if you tell me to jump in a volcano?" (2011)

"So mom if I licked my pajamas until they were clean, would I throw up a hairball?" - Zeca, age 6 (2011)

Me: "Zeca did you put lip stuff all over this paper?" Zeca: "Why would I do that?! No, I just put my lips all over it." (2011)

Zeca: So, lesbians celebrate Christmas? Miguel (sighing): Being a lesbian isn't a religion. (2011)

Me: "Your girlfriends & boyfriends will always be welcome here for Christmas." Son: "What if my girlfriend likes to vandalize trucks?" (2011)

Zeca called someone stupid at school today. Me: "That was not ok!" Zeca: "Well, you tell me that I should always be honest..." (2011)

Overheard @geekydyke asking Zeca how picture day went. Zeca replied: "Everyone thought I looked like a Greek god." (2011)

The kids were talking about Beyonce and I asked if they knew who she was married to and Zeca said, "Ellen?" (2011)

Zeca: "New York seems better than Minneapolis. You can get married if you're gay and you can dance around outside and eat hot dogs." (2011)

Zeca: "Can you live in a recliner?" (2011)

Zeca: No one at school celebrates Peep Week! They haven't even heard of it! Can you believe it?! (2011)

Zeca about me (just now): "I'll be able to control her when she's old." (2011)