Family Court

My son likes to argue which I know is probably karmic retribution for my lifetime love of a good debate but, sometimes, it's exhausting. Like last night, for example.

As soon as I picked him up from school, he started pleading his case - he wanted to go trick or treating with a couple of friends to escape my lovingly watchful eye.

He argued his point as he buckled into the car.

He argued his point as we drove home.

He argued his point as we got out of the car.

He argued his point all the way into the house.

He argued and argued and argued.

Finally, he finished with, "Give me one good reason why you won't let me go trick or treating by myself."

Me: I'll give you 3 - 1)You are impulsive and don't watch when crossing the street on a day when you are NOT hopped up on sugar 2) More kids get hit by cars on Halloween night than any other night of the year 3) You can't even remember to put on shoes half the time so you are hardly ready to trick or treat without supervision.

Miguel: I understand but, on more than one occasion, you have said that I have matured in the past year.

Me: Emotionally, yes. Behaviorally, you have been pretty inconsistent. I love you like a love song baby* but you are impulsive.

Miguel: I have really been working on that and I can point out several examples...

Me: I don't want you to start giving examples because I really just want to focus on these grilled cheese sandwiches.

He proceeded to name several examples.

I looked at him and noticed that he had chocolate from the shoulder of his shirt all the way down the sleeve to the cuff. I stared at his adorable little face and noticed that he had chocolate coming out of his right nostril.

Me: Honey, what's all over the sleeve of your shirt?

Miguel: Oh...chocolate.

Me: How does a mature fellow such as yourself get chocolate from shoulder to wrist?

Miguel: Well, we had a chocolate fountain at school so...you know...it happens...

Me: It's hard for me to take your arguments about your maturity seriously when your shirt is covered in chocolate and you have chocolate coming out of your nose.

Miguel (without skipping a beat): Well, if we were arguing this case in court, I would be wearing a suit and I would have washed the chocolate off of my face.

And then I laughed so hard I burned the grilled cheese sandwiches.

Miguel: You have to admit that I am good at arguing. I never give up.

Me: You have to admit that I am too. And the answer about trick or treating is still "no".

And with this little story, I welcome you to NaBloPoMo 2013!

*(Yes, I actually said that and I am so dedicated to my "art" and "truth" that I am willing to look like the fool I am by putting it in print).