Rush

The holidays require so much and are gone so quickly. Before my family got used to The Gay, I figured that blurry holidays were a blessing. I wanted to forget the awkwardness and the feeling of being ever so slightly out of place. But now, I want to remember them and I want our kids to remember them, to have good memories to take with them when they make their way in the world. So, we go to the Macy's display and we go to the Holidazzle parade and we make cookies and fudge and we do a gingerbread house and a million other things that mark this time. As their belief in Santa fades, I hope it will be these other things that they will remember. I know that someday when they are much older they will spend Christmas with friends or the families they create and I hope when they are talking about how difficult we were when they were growing up, they add, "But, damn, they really knew how to do Christmas." Today, we took down the tree and the lights and stockings. There is no trace of Christmas remaining except for the memories. For now, those are crystal clear and for that I am thankful.