So I Married an Epidemiologist

As I pulled a t-shirt out of the dresser recently, I realized that my summer wardrobe is largely determined by the fact that my girlfriend is an epidemiologist. She gets a lot of t-shirts from events related to her work, so, I am a walking billboard for health issues. My chest screams "NO MAS!" and my back gives links to sites about HIV and STD's. Sometimes, my chest whispers "AIDS Walk" and my back simply advertises for various sponsors. One of my favorite and most comfortable shirts says, "World Refugee Day" on the front. There are some I won't wear though. One says, "STOP DROP AND ROLL" and has a big picture of a condom on it. I'm not a prude - I object to the shirt because 1) it's ugly and 2) I think "STOP DROP AND ROLL" is a stupid slogan. Luisa wears that shirt all the time, however - despite my pleas. There is another shirt that simply has a picture of a giant condom as a parachute. I don't even remember what it says but the condom is a heinous salmon color and the whole things is just ridiculous and unappealing. I appreciate a free shirt now and then so it's all good. Poor Luisa gets no social work t-shirts. The only one I could think to make anyway would say, "Don't Let the Bedbugs Bite".