Stuff I Learned Over the Weekend
/I've started a fire in the virtual fireplace here at Up Popped A Fox so grab a warm beverage (non-alcoholic, of course - it is morning after all) and let me share with you some recent discoveries. There are places in the world that are not giant blocks of ice!
This past weekend, my family travelled to a distant world called "Kansas City" and bore witness to something life-changing: bare ground. This magical place was not covered in snow and there was grass as far as the eye could see and, though the grass was dead, I did kneel upon the land and wet it with joyful tears as my faith in the changing of the seasons was restored.
The Peeps have returned!
In our pilgrimage back to our barren homeland, we stopped to refuel our vehicle and administer snacks to our young travel companions and I ventured into a store wherein I saw the most renowned sign of Spring: The Peep. Yes, the Peeps have returned from their seasonal foray into the south! There were Peeps of every color and these:
Those are brand new Peeps and they come in dark and milk chocolate. Are you excited?! Videotaped taste-testing will take place when Peep Week 2010 rolls around.
There are a million things that are a pain in the ass!
We stopped at a fast food restaurant that shall not be named and, as I was gliding regally through the parking lot towards the door, a giant chasm opened in the asphalt and nearly swallowed me whole. Because I am as graceful as a swan and as quick as a jackrabbit, I did not fall but pulled something in my tailbone region. Yay! More shooting ass pain! I will be adding this to my forthcoming book - "The Enigmatic Tailbone: 1001 Obscure Daily Uses of Your Butt Nubbin".
After the apocalypse, the Blackberry shall be a beacon!
As we drove home through Iowa, road conditions were very dangerous. Visibility was low because it was dark and high winds were blowing snow in every direction. We saw at least 25 abandoned cars, some of them overturned, in ditches. It was eery, like driving through the country after the apocalypse. Luisa did an amazing job of keeping the car on the road and I did an amazing job of eating Jelly Bellys* by the light of my Blackberry. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank a couple of Twitter friends for distracting me from my imminent death (by car wreck and/or popcorn flavored Jelly Belly) and helping me focus, instead, on Olympic figure-skating and the associated gaudy costumes. Thanks @virgotex and @grumpyyetamusin!
*Yes, I still struggle with the plural of the jelly beans manufactured and trademarked by the Jelly Belly company.
The Lezzy Awards are open once again!
Last year, I saw myself as the bride's drunk cousin in the Lezzy Awards but this year I want to win. There, I said it. Yes, I'm shamelessly promoting myself and I am surprisingly okay with this. I just want to get my hands on a Lezzy...well...a Lezzy other than Luisa. So, I am going to annoy you once again and ask you to nominate this little ol' blog for Best Parenting Blog or Best Personal Blog or both, if like me, you can't decide. I've never really won anything except that ribbon for third place in mosaics at the National Latin Convention and that cannot be my legacy. It cannot! Here are the instructions from The Lesbian Lifestyle site:
The 2009 Lezzy Awards are HERE!!! Nominate your favorite lesbian authored blogs in 11 different categories. Nominations run from Monday February 15th to 12:00 am Monday February 22nd. You are allowed 1 nomination in each category every 24 hours. Make sure to click the link in the nomination email you will receive in order for your nominations to count.
That's right - click on the link above and nominate. You can nominate blogs every 24 hours and I hope that you do. The blogs with the most nominations move on to the finals. While you're over there, throw some support behind these blogs as well:
Best Entertainment/Culture Blog: Autostraddle (www.autostraddle.com)
Best Humor Blog: Grace the Spot (www.gracethespot.com)
And, if you think I suck and don't want to nominate me in Best Personal Blog, show Peaches and Coconuts (www.peachesandcoconuts) some love. We "met" through the Lezzy Awards last year and she is good people.
Now, I have to get back to work...or at least look busy.