Pig Lickers and the Tilt-a-whirl

This might shock you but Luisa and I are not really State Fair people. Luisa is European and I'm...how do I say this? Well, I'm a snob. I know - this is a lot to take in right now. Do you need a moment? No? Okay then, let's proceed. The kids have been begging us to do something FUN! with them because, apparently, we are horribly boring, un-fun people. So, one night as we sat in our lair, we rubbed our hands together in sinister glee and decided to take them to the fair. We said, "They want fun? We'll give them fun and it will smell like fried food and animal poop!" BWAH HA HA! We started out at the Miracle of Life barn which, thankfully, was not an anti-choice propoganda barn but the place where animals are born. There were lots of cute, fuzzy little animals to pet which means that we spent a fair amount of times screeching, "Don't touch your mouth! Did you just touch your mouth?! I told you not to touch your mouth! Oh my god! I think you touched your mouth!" Despite the parental vigilance, both children reported that they greatly enjoyed the baby animals (Zeca's fave: piglet, Miguel's fave: lamb).

Then, we headed to a hand milking demonstration and eagerly took seats to watch Lauren the Cow get milked. We had no idea that this was to be a group activity until everyone began lining up to give Lauren's teats a tug (Luisa and I chose not to fondle Lauren). Miguel and Zeca both took a turn milking and, afterwards, I asked Miguel what a teat feels like. He said, "Mom..." - pausing to take a deep breath before finishing - "...it feels like a penis." See what you can learn at the fair! You know what else we learned right after that? Pigs stink like all get out. Zeca was so horrified by the smell in the pig barn that she demanded that we evacuate immediately. I was relieved because I don't know how much longer I could have been falsely cheerful in the face of such stench.

After the animals, we headed to the agriculture building so we could see the freakishly large vegetables. I do love me some oversized pumpkins! I think I speak for all us when I say, "Damn! An 1186 pound pumpkin is big!" Zeca wanted to touch everything, especially the gigantic cabbages, so I dragged her out of there quickly. We then checked out the seed art. You haven't really lived until you've seen Minnie Pearl immortalized in seed. I showed amazing restraint in that I never once exclaimed "Wow! She's really gone to seed!" when looking at the seed portraits. I said it in my head each time, though, and each time I laughed. Actually, I'm laughing about it right now. I'm simple that way.

We left the educational buildings behind, hopped in a sky car and headed over to the Midway because we had promised the kids a rides and games. As we hovered above the fair, I scanned the buildings for Famous Dave's BBQ because Famous Dave's is the home of Pig Lickers. I first mentioned Pig Lickers during Peep Week but I feel like the bacon chocolate combination keeps coming up. First, Dorothy Snarker tweeted about a bacon chocolate bar. Then, I mentioned the Pig Lickers over at Grace the Spot and Grace Chu mentioned Vosges (the maker of Snarker's bar). Then, I was instructed by Grace Yip to try a Pig Licker and report back. Well, what else could I do?

I did spot Famous Dave's from the sky and we headed there immediately after our ride. Both kids were excited to try them too but we decided to share one and Luisa and Miguel went to order it. While Zeca and I waited, she said, "I want a big ball of cotton candy and a Pig Licker. Yep, that's what I want." Girl loves sugar. And meat. And meat with sugar.

Surely, you notice in the picture that they are not on sticks which, I must admit, was rather disappointing. They come in a paper cone. There were enough in there for each of us to have two, though. One other rather unexpected Pig Licker fact: they are served cold. Like, really cold. I guess that makes sense because otherwise the chocolate would melt. Still kinda weird though. So, what was it like? Well, they were pretty good. The bacon was crisp. The chocolate was of good quality. It was a lovely mix of sweet and salt. I would never seek them out again but it was interesting to try them. Zeca and Miguel thought they were fabulous! Luisa took a bite and shrugged (she's a food critic of few words). My only regret is that I ate these right before getting on the Tilt-a-whirl. Let's just say the Pig Lickers kept on givin'.

We rode a couple of rides, played a couple of games, got one last treat and headed home. I'm not sure but maybe, just maybe, we had fun.