Let's Talk about Horses

Let's talk about horses and getting back on them because I've heard that's an important thing to do. I have fallen off the blogging horse. Blogging has often served as writing practice for me and the more I do it the more I feel compelled to do it. Conversely, the less I do it the less I want to do it. I can't think of ideas or I think of them and forget them or I think of them and then declare them too ridiculous. But let's be real - this blog has always had a healthy dose of ridiculous. One might even argue that it's built on ridiculous. Maybe I just need to write and not worry about it. Maybe I need to write like no one is reading and then avoid looking at stats that will prove or disprove that hypothesis.

So, I'm going to try. An image and a few words on somedays, longer reflections when they come to me - just something. Anything.

In that spirit of imperfection, I'll share this photograph from the 4th of July...

IMG_0693

Zeca is blurry, like a baby Sasquatch in a red shirt. Our friend Augie (in blue) is blurry too as he watches the small fountain he'd just lit. Miguel is in focus and glowing - a fitting description for a kid on his birthday. There is something about this picture that reminds me of my own childhood, of fireworks at night with friends, of being mesmerized by fire and sparks. Maybe childhood is mostly a blur.

Elizabeth Jarrett Andrew on Hannah Delivered

9781940192185.jpg

I had the pleasure of working with Elizabeth Jarrett Andrew during my time in the Foreword Program at the Loft Literary Center. She was one of the creative non-fiction mentors but was hard at work on her novel Hannah, Delivered, a book about which she clearly had great passion. That novel has now been published and I'm thrilled to share some of her insights into what drew her to the topic of midwifery and birth. With that, I will turn it over to Elizabeth herself who wrote the following for me to share.  

***

Why would a queer adoptive mom write a novel about a lot of hetero women giving birth?

Trust me, it’s not because I like hanging out with pregnant women. Just this morning at the splash pad with my daughter, I was on a bench reading when I was suddenly surrounded by ripe bellies in fashionable bathing suits. I should have jumped up and said, “Hey! I just wrote a book about midwives that you’d love!” Instead I crossed my unshaven legs and buried my nose in The Writer’s Chronicle.

I came out bisexual more than two decades ago, and since then have been amazed that the world doesn’t continually celebrate queer wisdom. GLBT folk know how to respect desire. We heed the body’s wisdom and adore its variations despite a culture that recommends otherwise. We know how to love whomever we love. I wrote a memoir about coming out and ever since I’ve been on a mission to apply what I learned to as many arenas of life as possible.

So when I heard a midwife say, “I think birth is feminism’s final frontier—if our culture loved women, we’d trust their bodies,” I had to find out what she meant. Was it possible that birth practices in the U.S. alienate women from their bodies in the same way that prejudice and denial alienate so many queer people?

In fact, yes—with dire consequences to the health of women and our children. So I wrote Hannah, Delivered to explore what that final frontier might look like.

Here are five things I discovered:

1. It’s great fun to write about a gay man who wears wrap-around skirts and becomes a fabulous midwife.

2. There is a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong. (Thanks to Laura Stavoe Harm.)

3. We don’t need to be afraid of birth pain. A midwife I observed said to a woman in labor, “Push through your pain. Your baby’s on the other side of that pain.” Reminds me of the pain of coming out, which was awful but sure worth it. I suspect this is true for much of the pain we avoid.

4. Natural birth makes for great bumper stickers: “Midwives do it in any position.” “Delivery? Or take-out?” “Push ahead with midwives.” “Say no to drugs—beginning with birth.”

5. Women in labor need other women. The single factor affecting women’s satisfaction with their births—at home, in the hospital, natural or surgical—is whether or not someone familiar with birth has stayed with them the entire time. Ladies, isn’t this true for all our tough times? We just want someone there.

Lest you worry, I did stick in a scene of Hannah assisting a lesbian couple with their insemination—birth in the queer community is quirky and difficult and fun. I remain forever grateful to the midwives of St. Joseph’s hospital who gave my partner and me our own, free room a few doors down from where our daughter was being born. They knew that we needed midwifing, too, since we were being born into new roles as parents. I wish everyone giving birth to something new could experience that kind of love and trust.

 

You can purchase Hannah, Delivered at Magers & Quinn, Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Revise Your Manuscript in 10 Easy Steps

IMG_0724.jpg

You wrote a book! That is very exciting! We all knew you could do it/can't believe you finally finished it/can't wait to see it in print! Now, you need to revise that manuscript and polish it until it shines like a firefly on a perfect summer night! The writing life can be lonely but I am here to guide you through this important task! Here are the 10 easy steps to revising that manuscript:

1. Print out a copy.  Hug it, rub your face on it like a cat and then show it to every person you run into during your daily routine . "Hello! Mail carrier! Look at this! This is my book! I wrote it! Do you want to hold it and feel the weight of the words? Wait! Come back!"

2. Take a picture of your manuscript. Text that picture to every friend you have ever spoken to about your manuscript. Bask in their warm wishes!

3. Pick out a pen to use while reading the manuscript. This is an essential step and you must consider pen type, ink color, size. You may also want to consider highlighters and/or colored markers. This step will take at least one day.

4. Read the manuscript. Stop frequently to tell yourself that you have no talent and no one would ever want to read your horribly written book. Raise your hands to the sky and scream, "I've spent the past three years of my life on this?!" Repeat at least once per chapter.

5. Organize the manuscript for easy reading. Sort the chapters by the level of revision they require. You will likely need paper clips or binders for this. You may even need colored paper clips! Spend the day at an office supply store looking at paper clips. Resist the urge to buy post it notes and/or index cards because that would be frivolous and a waste of time.

6. Revise. I'm kidding! Don't rush into anything! Watch two episodes of Orange Is The New Black and text your friends, "OMG Vee!" Bake banana chocolate chip muffins. Play Momcraft. Tell everyone on Facebook that you are revising your manuscript.

7. Make a revision schedule. This schedule should be completely unrealistic and based on the assumption that you are someone else…like maybe Stephen King

8. Revise for real this time. Make corrections and expand on those initial ideas. Delete the words you obviously love because you use them on every page. Repeat step #4 but only every other chapter this time. Put head on desk and weep silently as needed.

9.  Give up. You are already way behind on your random self-imposed revision schedule so you might as well quit. Curl up under a blanket, shake your head and quietly mumble, "I'll never finish…" and "This is too hard…"

10. Finish! I don't know what this is like. Would you tell me, please?