Friday Thinks It's All That

Friday gets so much attention. People are always thanking god for it so I suspect that Friday suffers from a healthy sense of self. Everybody loves Saturday and Sunday too because they are so Fun and so Relaxing! Friday, Saturday and Sunday suck up most of the weekday love which makes me feel sorry for the rest of the days of the week. I guess Wednesday gets a lot of positive attention for being “hump day”, half-way to the beloved weekend. The thing about Wednesday is that it can be overly optimistic in that totally fake way. It's all, “Hey! You’ve made it to the middle of the week! Good for you!” but then it goes home at night and drinks Nyquil while eating Chips-Ahoy cookies in bed. Even Monday gets some glory because it is so maligned. Everyone hates Monday but negative attention is still attention and Monday revels in it. Monday is totally badass and smokes ciggies in the schoolyard while shouting insults at the band kids. Tuesdays and Thursdays get the least attention. Thursday is like the weird guy who gets invited to parties because his cool friend, Friday, always shows up shortly after…with booze. Thursday wears plaid bell bottoms and is overly affectionate but everyone is still like, “HELLO THURSDAY!” I kinda feel sorry for Thursday because I don’t think it knows that people are only using it to get to Friday. That leaves Tuesday. Poor Tuesday sits there between reviled Monday and perky Wednesday. Nobody cares about Tuesday but it doesn’t really care. It just hangs out, doing its own thing. Tuesday is the smart kid with the dry sense of humor that makes all the cheerleaders laugh and makes the best lab partner because it brings the funny to dissection.  Wow. I think I might be watching too much Glee.

Fridays usually bring fashion here at Up Popped A Fox but I had some technical problems getting pictures from Facebook and I need to get a bit more information about the picture I received via e-mail. Yesterday was picture day at the kids’ school and, as I contemplated their outfits and hair, I remembered my own school pictures and shuddered. I wanted to post the picture taken of me in kindergarten but my damn scanner is broken. I’ll try to post it someday though because it is a horror classic. What makes it so awful? I have one word for you (and it is one word) -  rickrack. 

But, alas, there is no Rickrack Fabulous for you today. So, I had to find something else for us to ogle and mock and I found an embarrassment of riches. Check out Ellen’s gallery of Bad School Photos and Bad Paid For Photos. Those pics will bring a tear to your eye. 

Have a great weekend y’all and may your eyes be open and your mouth be closed when you’re photographed! Until next week, peace out...

Tagging and Mugging

Have you all completely lost interest in the tagline contest after all the conflict? I will admit that I had...until last night when I started designing the prize. First things first though - the results (I'm starting with last place first because I aspire to be like a beauty pageant): 5. Where the booze flows like a river and the chilren play by themselves 4. Perfecting the art of the non-sequitur since 2006 3. Because everyone loves a cautionary tale 2. It's an up-slide climb

...and the winner is...

1. Where lez is more

The people have spoken and, apparently, they speak lez. Anthony is our winner...again! This is fitting given that the judges originally chose his entry as well. So what has Anthony won? Tell him Johnny!

Anthony has won a beautiful coffee mug adorned with this little blog's name and the winning tagline. I'm sure you are all dying to know what the fabulous mug looks like and, because I am a benevolent blogger, I am going to show you:

I will also be sending one of these out to Eliza who won the camp contest. She only declined a prize because she thought I was going to send her dryer lint. Regardless about your feelings about the tagline, I think we can all agree that these coffee mugs are much better than dryer lint.

Also, if you click on the picture above it will take you to a magical place where you can order a mug for yourself. Do not feel obligated to buy a mug. Seriously, I would have to sell a kabillion of them to make enough money to buy a single cup of tea. I'm simply offering them up in case you need to contemplate foxes and lezzies while drinking your morning coffee.

This tagline contest taught me a lot. Seriously. It reminded me that I a people pleaser at heart which is not always a good thing because, at times, it limits my creativity. I spend too much time (in life and in writing) worrying about what others will think of me. I need to learn to be bold, to be unafraid of ruffling a few zombie canary feathers. I'm going to work on that and I thank you all for the lesson.

The Cat in the Hat Comes Back and Does Home Repairs

We bought something to hang on the wall but, as I contemplated hanging it, I realized that I wanted to paint the walls first. Then, I remembered that our kitchen sink has been leaking…since August. See, before we went on vacation, I reached under the sink to grab a new dish sponge and was like, “HEY!  Why is everything wet?!” but I didn’t really want to think about it too much because leaks are scary. Leaks could be the focus of an entire horror movie franchise. Imagine the voiceover, “It came from under the sink…and the hapless homeowners were no match!” Cue scary music and a choppy montage of people screaming when faced with plumbing problems. Rather than confront the demon under the sink, I made up a little story in my head in which one of the children poured a glass of water under there because it’s easier to think that my children are mischievous imps than to face the fact that the kitchen sink is leaking right before vacation.  We went on vacation and I was so relaxed that I completely forgot about the leak under the sink until we got back and I reached under there to get some dishwashing liquid and was like, “WHAT THE HELL? Why is everything wet?!”  and then I remembered the leak and was filled with sadness because I had hoped that the pipes weren’t really leaking but weeping in the face of their galvanized existence. The good thing about a leak getting worse is that it is easier to pinpoint the source of the leak. See…I’m a Sink Half-Full kinda gal. Anyway, I couldn’t very well justify painting the walls to hang the thing when the cabinet under the kitchen sink had become a watery wonderland. Let me say that our plumbing resume is as follows:

• Replaced shower head
• Replaced faucet in tub
• Installed shutoff valves under kitchen sink
• Replaced washers on toilet tank
• Replaced toilet flushy thingy 

Since we did those things successfully, we figured that we could quickly disassemble the pipes under the sink and replace them and then make dinner and watch a movie with the kids. Simple, right? I’m sure you know the answer to that question without reading the rest of this. Let us summarize this project by examining the trips to the hardware store:

• Trip to the hardware store #1: purchase p-trap and plumber’s wrench
• Trip to the hardware store #2: purchase tail piece
• Trip to the hardware store #3: purchase slip joint and big ass channellocks
• Trip to the hardware store #4: purchase penetrating catalyst
• Trip to the hardware store #5: purchase pvc tail piece, p-trap and slip joint
• Trip to the hardware store #6: return previous unused pipes 

We needed to replace the p-trap but then had issues with the connectors of the tail piece and then couldn’t get the old slip joint to latch onto the new p-trap so had to replace it too though it took us forever to get it off. There was a lot of swearing. Luisa cut her finger. I hit my fingers with a hammer several times. Finally, it was all disassembled and put back together and it only took four hours…four frustrating, sweaty, damp, rusty hours.  

Once the sink was fixed, we could paint the walls and we did that yesterday. Now, we can hang the thing. The moral of this story is, of course, to never buy anything to hang on your walls. Ever.

I have a new post up at Grace the Spot based on our experience at the recent parent orientation at the kids' school. Check it out:

Attack of the Lesbian Clones!