Iowa: Fields of Opportunities

I drove to Kansas City a couple of weeks ago which meant that I had a lot of time to think as I drove through Iowa. People make a lot of jokes at the state's expense but I actually love it. I lived in Grinnell for five years and have many fond memories and - thankfully - none of them involve detassling corn. Driving through farmland and seeing the deep green of the cornfields broken only by the occasional red barn or grey silo does my heart good. But, every time I see the welcome sign that reads "The People of Iowa Welcome You" with the motto "Iowa: Fields of Opportunity" beneath it, I laugh. Out loud. It's such an ambitious sentiment.

In those quiet highway hours, I began to think of other possible mottos and now...I will make jokes at the state's expense.

Here are some possibilities...

Iowa: Life is always greener on the other side. Really. It's just all green here.

Iowa: All the windmills, none of those awful wooden shoes

Iowa: #pighoarders

Iowa: It's going to take longer to get through here than you think.

Iowa: We love gays! We just keep them in Iowa City.

Iowa: If a meteor hits, the popcorn is on us!

Iowa: You ain't seen nothing yet! There's more nothing just around the bend!

Iowa: A Skunk River runs through it.

Iowa: We have big buttes and we cannot lie. Wait - that's Montana. Never mind.

Savoir Faire Is Everywhere

Last week, we went to Hayward, Wisconsin to see the sights…and by "sights" I mean "weird things." We stopped into a candy store and the lady behind the counter asked if we'd seen the Largest Muskie - a real one that had been caught, stuffed and mounted. We had not seen this 7th wonder of the freshwater world so we headed into town to see it. We saw a sign on the front of a bar and pulled into the parking lot and looked around for the entrance to the "museum" but couldn't find it. Someone said, "I think the entrance to the museum is inside the bar."

Nope. The "museum" was inside the bar.

So, we spent some time with our children in a dive bar in Wisconsin looking at taxidermied wildlife while the midday drinkers looked at us. The kids found the "exhibits" interesting but not as interesting as they found the bar patrons. As we walked out, Miguel said, "Mom! Some of those people were drunk!"

Museums really are educational.

Here is a lovely collage of some of the museum's offerings:

 Where have I been when not visiting museums? I've been at VillageQ channeling Clark Griswold and talking about giant muskies! I've been at the HuffingPost writing about family dinners and same-sex marriage. I've been on the Mom2.0Summit blog answering questions about writing and fear. And I've been hard at work on Listen To Your Mother.

Do you remember Tennessee Tuxedo? Klondike Cat? Savoir Faire. I feel at little like Savoir Faire so I dug up this old intro and reveled in a bit of nostalgia.

http://youtu.be/VMt3GOyRkU4

And where will I be next week? Right here. For Peep Week 2014. See you then.