Relativity

We had gone for a long meandering walk around campus that night. I don't remember what we talked about but, given the length of that walk, I can only assume that we talked about everything. Somehow, we ended up in the gymnasium on central campus. I'm not sure what led us there or why it was open so late at night but we went inside.  It was empty, dimly lit and cavernous. We sat on the bleachers and said nothing as we stared down at our hands barely touching as they lay on the hard bench. When our eyes met again, we kissed. It was slow and deep and beautiful in its awkward imperfection. It was the first time I'd ever kissed a woman. It was a beginning. That was the only kiss we ever shared but we became close friends. She continued dating the woman that she is still with today. I began dating a mutual friend of ours and we fell in love and then out of love but remained friends. Over 20 years have passed since that time.

Last Friday night, Zeca had a slumber party to celebrate her 7th birthday. She invited her 3 favorite girls over and we ordered pizza and made ice cream sundaes and watched a movie. They spent hours dancing and giggling with each other until they finally fell asleep. The next morning, I watched the girls as they packed their things and was struck by the unpredictability of life.

When I sat in that quiet gymnasium all those years ago and kissed my friend, I could have never imagined that her daughters would one day stand in my foyer with their arms around my daughter. When I met my first girlfriend on a crowded bus to DC, I could not have pictured her daughter grabbing sausage off of my plate and then running off to play.

One of my favorite lines from "The Way We Were" is, "Wouldn't it be lovely if we were old? We'd have survived all this." The scene is heartbreaking but the line itself has always reminded me of the relativity of time.

This weekend, as I watched my daughter and her friends - the daughters of my long time friends - I couldn't help but think of the mingling of my past and present. I couldn't help but wonder what will have meaning when I reflect on this time of my life 20 years from now.

Perhaps the greatest gift of age is perspective.

We are always beginning, always starting something that will unfold unexpectedly.

Good Jeans

A woman goes shopping and buys a new pair of jeans. The next day, she puts on the new pair of jeans and goes about her morning routine without a single comment from her partner. She goes to work, comes home and hangs out in the kitchen with her partner who still doesn't mention the new jeans. So, the woman says, "How do you like my new jeans?" The partner responds, "They are nice." The woman is not content with "nice" and asks, "Do you like the way my ass looks in them?" The partner replies, "Well, they make your ass look a little square." A little square. The woman is irritated with this response and requests clarification, "You don't think my new jeans make me look hot?" to which the partner responds, "I think your ass looks better in Levis." The woman is now offended and concludes that the partner missed out on the Good Partner Lesson that provides guidance on answering tricky questions like, "Do I look fat in this?", "What do you think of my haircut?" and "Do these jeans make my ass look hot?" So, the woman says, "I haven't worn Levis in five years! Does that mean you haven't liked my ass in FIVE YEARS?!" The partner disputes the claim that the woman hasn't worn Levis in five years rather than addressing the core issue which is the ass and the hotness of said ass. The woman grows angrier and instructs the partner that when a woman asks if her ass looks good in a pair of jeans, you say "yes" with great enthusiasm and conviction. The woman explains that this is universally known. The partner attempts to divert attention from this life lesson to other topics and feelings but the woman does not fall for such antics. So, who would you rather be in this situation? The woman or the partner?

POSTSCRIPT: Okay...y'all are being too serious. So, the question is now, "What should the partner do to make amends?" And the answer is not, "Buy the woman some Levis" because the woman bought her own damn Levis.

To Africa and Back

Last Friday, I received the following e-mail from my friend, Amy: 

I think you need to blog about Grey's Anatomy last night.  I'm still upset. 

I couldn’t blog about it on Friday because another friend was holding me hostage and forcing me to write a book while she served me coffee and kept a beautiful fire blazing in the wood stove. I was suffering for my art so I had to save it for today.   

When we last discussed Grey’s Anatomy, Arizona told Callie she couldn’t go to Africa with her because she was being whiny and negative and Luisa took Arizona’s side and I took Callie’s side and Luisa told me she wouldn’t want me to go to Africa with her and I told her that I would do anything for love and then I got mad and stormed upstairs and, even though I’d go to frickin’ Africa for Luisa, she couldn’t manage to come up the stairs for me. So, we broke up and I am now living in a Scamp parked in our driveway. Okay, she did come upstairs and we didn’t break up and that Scamp thing didn’t happen either but it is rather amazing that we ever agreed to watch Grey’s Anatomy together again. 

So, time has been passing on Grey’s and Callie has been weepy and sad and broken-hearted. Arizona has e-mailed their friends but has never bothered to e-mail Callie ever. Typical. Callie and I were both getting a little bitter and then this happened:

That’s right! Arizona shows up with her crackly little voice and rambles adorably and then says that Callie is pretty in the cutest possible way and then? And then?! Callie shuts the door in her face? And then?! And then?! This happened: 

Vikki: I cannot believe Callie shut the door in her face! She should have grabbed her and kissed her! Luisa: silence Vikki: Right? There should have been kissing? Luisa: Well…  Vikki: No. Do not tell me that you are now taking Callie's side! After the whole Africa thing, you are taking Callie’s side?!  Luisa: I think Callie has a right to be angry.  Vikki: NO! Arizona came back! She gave up everything for love and she came back and said all the right things!  Luisa: I’m with Callie this time. 

This time Luisa is sleeping in the Scamp.  Callie was wrong, wrong, wrong. Am I right? Comment away and don’t be a Callie or a Luisa.