Tuesday Tunes

Today, Stephanie at Talking Is My Primary Function did a post about the connection between memories and music. I could talk about this for hours and hours but I had a tooth pulled today and don't ever plan to open my mouth again so, instead, I want you to read her post and then talk about songs that have meant something to you. Do it at her blog or here in the comments or on a scrap of paper on your nightstand. Just do it! (Nike did not pay me to say that). I left a long rambling comment on her blog about my love of Shawn Colvin. I've talked about Shawn before but thinking about her today reminded me that as much as I love her music, I love her duets with Mary Chapin Carpenter even more.

So, I'm going to share one of those here today...and then I'm going to go drink my dinner through a straw (and no - not a cocktail!)

http://youtu.be/cpeoSNsuDQw

By the way...I totally ship Shawn Colvin and Mary Chapin Carpenter. I'm shameless with my wish for lady lovin'.

Pieces of a Whole

When I was in college, I spent many hours a day writing music and playing the guitar. Many hours. This would have been fine had I been a music major but I was a Psychology major and should have been spending a little more time learning about brain chemistry and a little less time learning picking patterns from cassette tapes. This lifestyle meant that I was never asked to be in a study group with other Psych majors but was often invited to play music for people. I played in dorm rooms, in lounges, outside in the grass and at the occasional campus event. People seemed to enjoy listening and it allowed me to justify all the time I was spending learning songs when I should have been studying. Over time, however, I started thinking that people only liked hanging out with me because I could play and sing. There was so much more to me! There was also the sense of humor and the rugby and the ability to hold my liquor!  What about those things?! And then a weird thing happened - I got jealous of myself. I suspect I've probably lost you. Don't be scared - I'm actually a little lost myself. Well, that's not very reassuring but I think I can lead us both out of the knotted undergrowth of my brain. I began to resent the guitar and my voice because I was afraid that people weren't seeing all of me. I wanted to be appreciated in my entirety. I got over it fairly quickly but I remember the feeling so vividly. I remembered this after a conversation today with a friend about  whether or not success as a writer is tied to the charm and personality of the writer. I'm not sure why I'm writing about this other than the fact that it's rather interesting to ponder. Of course, I might just be writing about this because I cooked dinner and, when I cook dinner, I like to have an adult beverage while I chop and cook. Whatever. So, what do you think? Can the writing on a blog stand alone or is it made more valuable by the personality behind it?

Tuning In

Some days, I am tired and irrationally crabby and I just want to stay in my pajamas all day and eat cereal in front of the television. Children rob you of that option. They don't care that you're tired - they have wants and needs that must be met immediately!  So, there are times when one child is hopping around like Tigger on coke and another child is singing a nonsensical song at a volume that makes my brain vibrate and I behave in a less than noble fashion. This song gives some perspective and reminds me that I'm going to make mistakes - it's what I do about them that matters most. Let Me Say I'm Sorry Now - Shawn Colvin (I couldn't find a link! How is that possible?!)

Some days, I watch as my kids do crazy things and make horrible choices and I just want to scream, "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO?!" I want them to know that I am older and wiser and I can save them a lot of trouble and pain if they will just listen to me. But, they don't want to listen to me. They want to go their own way and I have to remember that I want that for them too. I do. Though this song is not about parenting, it helps me remember to let go.

Divided - Tegan and Sara (This video was shot at a performance and has some cute banter)

Some days, I look into my children's faces and I see their pain and, somehow, their pain becomes mine. I want to make the world right for them. I want them to know that we all hurt, that we all feel lost sometimes. I want to tell them that the answer to almost everything is love and want them to know that they will always have mine. I want nothing more than to give them comfort.

Comfort - Deb Talan

Some days, I need freedom. I need to reconnect to myself, to  remember that I am a mother but my own person separate from that. I need to be alone in the car with the music playing loudly. I need the windows open and the wind in my hair. This is the best song to listen to on those days.

Steer - Missy Higgins

Some days, I am at peace and remember that this chaotic life is one that I have built with intention. Sure, there are things about my life before children that I miss - like my sanity - and things I may never do. But, I also know that I am a better person because of my kids. If you ever want to put together a wistful parenting montage, this song would be the perfect soundtrack.

Look No Further - Dido

When you imagine your life as a parent, you never imagine that your children will break you apart but they do. They break you into pieces and remake you into something new.