TIDTWWISHBW Vol. 1, Issue 2

The Birds

There is a light dusting of snow on the branches outside my window.

A pair of cardinals flit about in the tree, flashes of color piercing the dull gray day.

I've watched the cardinals all winter and heard their calls.

I know them; They have been my companions.

Recently, I've noticed the songs of other birds, the harbingers of Spring and Summer.

I am filled with hope but then the wind shifts and more snow falls and I am left with only one thought -

"Stupid fucking birds".

This poem was supposed to be a consolation prize for my lack of blogging this week but I am a horrible poet so it's not much of a prize. Oh well, it's the thought that counts, right?

It has been a very busy week which partially explains why I did not blog. Somehow, I did find a few minutes here and there to do a bunch of other things that were not blogging and working on my book-like thing. So, I thought I would do another list of Things I Did This Week When I Should Have Been Writing!

I now present this week's Top 10 TIDTWWISHBW!

1. Ate a peanut butter cookie in bed.
2. Went to Galit's house to cast the Listen To Your Mother Show (announcement coming soon) and ate soup and spinach and M&M's and hung out with her dog, Louie.
3. Went out with a friend for coffee and had a double shot of espresso late in the day and then couldn't sleep and spent most of the night convincing myself that I cannot write and wondering if I should put in an application at Subway.
4. Applied at Subway. (No, not really).
5. Wrote about same-sex marriage. Again.
6. Made a casserole from the original Moosewood Cookbook and traveled back in time to 1990. Woke up with an Indigo Girls hangover and a strong desire to discuss the nutritional merits of brewer's yeast.
7. Tracked sharks on the daily. My new favorite Great White Shark is Mary Lee. She is heading to the Bahamas! Save me a place on the beach, Mary Lee!
8. Took a lot of really long showers - the kind that use all the hot water and then someone (like maybe a partner) comes up to you after and says "I'm going to take a shower" and you say, "I used all the hot water but that's okay because you are tough and I like that about you."
9. Felt nostalgic about my pre-teen appreciation for Styx and watched this video.
10. Talked to the artist mentor through my Beyond the Pure grant about procrastination and discipline. He dropped some wisdom on me and then told me that I needed to figure out why I procrastinate. Then, I figured it out - fear. Still thinking about that and still procrastinating.

I will leave you with the following video because the peeps...they are coming...

http://youtu.be/cIKBnKPchUY

Matchmaker

Zeca is trying to fix me up with another mom - like a mom friend date, not a lady love date. Thankfully.

She wants us to be friends so that she can spend more time with this kid she likes at school and believes that a parental alliance will guarantee her social success.

We will be meeting for the first time at Zeca's birthday party next week and Zeca has repeatedly stressed the importance of this meeting. She doesn't seem to be worried that I'll misbehave in some way, which is sweet if not a little naive. It's more that she needs me to understand that this is a Very Important Moment and all of her friendship dreams are riding on it.

Yesterday, as we were driving home from school, she brought The Parent Summit up once more.

Zeca: Soooo...just a few more days until you meet Bobby's mom.

Me: Yep.

Zeca: I just know that you are going to be friends.

Me: I am not really in the market for new friends, honey.

Zeca: You have to be friends.

Me: No, we can be friendly. We don't have to be friends for you to have play dates with Bobby.

Zeca: No. You are going to be friends. You guys will find each other really funny and then she'll follow you on Twitter and read your blog and you will be real friends and then Bobby and I will get to hang out all the time.

Hoping your friends' moms follow your mom on Twitter? #bloggerspawnproblems

Me: Sweetie, not every mom tweets and blogs.

Zeca: Whatever. The point is that you'll laugh and be friends.

I am touched that Zeca has identified humor as one of the traits I find essential in potential friends and I'm glad that she wants to use her social circles to expand my blog audience.

But this is too much pressure!

She has overestimated my social skills and obviously doesn't know that I am prone to awkward social interactions when I first meet people.

I was discussing this with Luisa last night and she told me that Zeca has been talking to her about Bobby's mom as well. Zeca is hedging her bets and hoping that one of her moms will come through for her.

Luisa makes a great first impression while I simply make an impression. I have a few days to convince Zeca that Luisa and Bobby's mom would be the best friends ever which will then free me from all social responsibility.

Wish me luck.

Judging A Book

We went to the Mall of America on the day after Christmas. I'm not exactly sure why we did this other than the fact that we had family visiting and it seemed like the thing to do. Not surprisingly, the mall was very crowded and it was like a consumer-driven version of the Running of the Bulls but with fewer pointy bull horns and less Spanish.

We stopped into Barnes and Noble at one point to buy some new books for the children and I decided that I would buy a book for myself as part of my Read More in 2013 campaign.

Confession: I don't read much. I used to and then I met the internet and found that reading short strings of words online and watching YouTube videos of toy commercials from the 1980's is an easy way to blow through hours of precious leisure time.

Deborah had suggested a few books to me (because she hoped to stop referring to me as her "dumb friend with a thing for Monchichis") and I decided to pick up Stephen King's book, "On Writing". This book would make me feel readerly and writerly.

So, Luisa picked out a couple of books for the kids and I picked up Stephen King's book and we fought through the crowds of bulls to pay for our books and leave.

I didn't pick up the book again until several weeks later and, when I did, I noted that the cover felt funny.

Me: Luisa! Feel this book. It feels funny.

Luisa stared at me for a few moments as she processed my request in light of past requests to "Smell this weird thing!" and "This is awful! Taste it!"

Luisa: What do you mean it feels funny?

Me: The cover has a weird feel. Just touch it.

Luisa (finally touching the book): Yeah, it does feel a little weird.

Vikki: I can't stand touching it so I can't read the book.

Luisa just stared at me.

Luisa: Just don't touch the cover.

Vikki: You can't read a book without touching the cover. Maybe I could wear gloves.

Luisa shrugged.

Vikki: If I wear gloves, how will I turn the pages?

Then, I remembered that my sister had bought me some light cotton gloves for Christmas. I guess you put lotion on your hands and wear the little gloves to moisturize them or something.

I ran upstairs and found the gloves and put them on and returned to my book. The gloves protected me from the funny feeling of the cover!

It has been several weeks since I started reading the book, however. What Deborah assured me was a "quick read" has turned into the time-sucking equivalent of "War and Peace" because, even though I can't feel the cover while wearing my gloves, I know it's all weird and icky. Plus, it is hard to turn the pages with gloves on.

All of this has led me to the conclusion that sometimes you really can judge a book by its cover and I am judging you and your book, Stephen King.

Since the reading is going so slowly, I think I'm going to have to ask Luisa to read it to me.

I'm sure that idea will go over well.