Does Your Cat Smell Less Than Fresh?

IMG_1904It wasn't long ago that I bathed my furry friend, Momo, and, though that adventure ended with puncture wounds and a need for Neosporin, I must say that she smelled so very good for awhile. When she would curl up on my lap and purr, I would purr back and my purrs sounded like "oh my precious Momo you smell so good and I love you". But Momo is smelling less than fresh once again.

Now, I know that I have a very sensitive nose. For 15 years, I trained my nose to detect even the faintest smell of urine and it became like a super power. Take me to a grocery store and I can smell a mildly incontinent octogenarian four aisles over. But now that I have left social work behind, my super power no longer serves me and, in fact, is causing issues in my relationship with my cat.

Me: Momo smells like an incontinent old woman.

Luisa: Really? I hadn't noticed.

Zeca: You CANNOT give her a bath.

I cannot tell a lie. I briefly considered bathing her. Briefly. Half-seriously. You would too if you had cuddled her those first few days after her bath when she smelled like Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo. If you honestly say that you wouldn't be seduced by that smell then you hate babies...and clean cats...and America.

I know that is not the best option, however.

So, I am changing to a different brand of kitty litter and also talking to Momo about the importance of quickly exiting the litter box after using it. I hate to cast blame but she has not been part of the solution so far which must mean she is part of the problem.

Also...I bought kitty grooming wipes.

Yes, I have become that person.

I came home from the store today and rubbed her down with a Powder Fresh Scent grooming wipe (which shockingly looks a lot like a baby wipe) and she meowed a bit but I did not require medical attention and now? She smells like an old lady who uses a lot of powder.

This new litter and the stern talking to better work. I now understand the struggles of all super heroes - super powers are both a blessing and a curse.

The One In Which I Relay Important Things...

IMG_1179It would appear that I took last week off from blogging. Chalk that little vacation up to Weather Anger and Winter Bitterness and the fact that every day with subzero temperatures and/or snow makes me snowmotional. In addition to my intolerance of the season, I have been writing offline and working on things related to Listen to Your Mother.

I also re-injured my shoulder/back/neck and spent the weekend on a heating pad and smelling like Ben Gay. ("I been gay forevah!" or feel free to insert your own Ben Gay joke here).

But there are some random things I want to share with you so I dragged my sorry self back to the computer for these news flashes (some are newsworthy, most are not - so lower your expectations):

Saturday night, Luisa and the kids went to visit friends while I limped around the house feeling like an 80 year old man. I was so bored that I peeled and ate an orange. This is of note because I do not like to peel oranges or any fruit really which is why I prefer bananas and berries. Bananas and berries are the fruits of my people...my people being lazy people who don't like to get their hands messy. So, I had an orange and the orange was so tasty that I felt my whole life change in that moment. I might even have another one today. It's a BRAVE NEW WORLD!

Last night, I started feeling a little better and I made strawberry muffins for the urchins of Casa de Fox. I rocked those muffins like a Hunchback Betty Crocker. I was so domestic that I spent all of my dream time last night test driving Toyota Sienna Minivans. Luisa was not in my dream which even Dream Vikki thought was problematic. The car dealer was giving me the hard sell and all I could think was, "Where is Luisa? Why is she not stopping me from impulsively buying a minivan?" The other weird part was that all the minivans were green and I was totally fine with that which, in real life, I would not be. I only drive black or silver cars in real life. Dream Vikki was out of control.

If you have read this far, I want to assure you that I am not under the influence of drugs or alcohol. This is my brain on winter.

Now, to the truly newsworthy...

The deadline for submissions for Listen To Your Mother is this Friday, February 15, 2013!

  • Written submissions are open now through February 15, 2013. Send us your stories –ltymtwincities@gmail.com
  • Auditions (live readings) will be held March 2nd (and continued on March 9th if needed)
  • The show is scheduled for May 9, 2013 at 7pm at the historic Riverview Theater in Minneapolis.

FAQ about the show

Tickets will be available soon through Eventbrite!

Videos of past shows elsewhere

Submit! Get ready to buy tickets! Watch videos! Shop for minivans!

Actually, don't shop for minivans. Well, unless you were going to do that already.

Now...who wants an orange! Peels on me!

Cat Scratch Fever

It started with a simple declaration, "I'm going to finish this glass of wine and then bathe the cat." It ended with Luisa putting peroxide on the puncture wounds on my forearm and back.

I'm sure one or more of the following are rattling around in your brain:

  • "Cats hate baths!"
  • "Why would you bathe your cat?"
  • "You should never bathe a cat you horrible hater of animals!"
  • "Why didn't Luisa try to stop you?!"
  • "You got what you deserved."

So, I'm going to address these points...

  • Yes, I know cats hate baths but we bathed Momo as a kitten and it was easy.
  • I wanted to bathe her because she didn't smell as fresh as she usually does.
  • I love my cat more than I like to admit and never meant to scare her or hurt her.
  • Luisa should have tried to stop me so this is kinda her fault.
  • I did get what I deserved. Absolutely.

The only good thing to come out of this is that Miguel captured the worst of it on video. Yes, he was taking a video because he thought he was about to witness a cute little bath with our baby Momo. He was unprepared for what transpired.

Please enjoy a laugh or two at my expense...

http://youtu.be/HuY5g9XmJ3M

For the record, she has forgiven me.