The Case of Peppermint Patty

We watched Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving tonight and, as Snoopy was throwing plates around the table like frisbees, I took a peek at Twitter and saw that Lisa had been watching with her kid who wanted to know if Peppermint Patty and Marcie were lesbians.

Now, I do not believe in outing as I have made very clear in the past but I'm not above speculating about a fictional character.

I would argue that both Peppermint Patty and Marcie are lesbians though neither of them have figured it out themselves.

Exhibit A - Clothing: Peppermint Patty was the first girl to be shown wearing shorts in the Peanuts comic strip. Marcie was the second character to do so. All of the other girls wore dresses. Girls who wear pants are not necessarily queer, obviously. Girly girls can be gay too (Maybe Lucy is hiding something which is why she is so crabby and unhappy all the time). But, androgynous style and practical footwear are pretty common among lady lovers.

Exhibit B - Softball: Peppermint Patty is the captain of the softball team and the star pitcher. Lesbian. Softball. Enough said.

Exhibit C - Relationship to Marcie: Peppermint Patty and Marcie. Marcie and Peppermint Patty. They are always together. Marcie is always looking at Peppermint Patty with such admiration and addresses her primarily as "sir". Peppermint Patty relies on Marcie to help her navigate social relationships and Marcie gladly does her bidding. I would argue that Marcie has a crush on Peppermint Patty (though she isn't aware of it) and I think Peppermint Patty is just generally clueless. I saw this dynamic in pre-lesbians all the time in college.

 Exhibit D - Crushes: Both Peppermint Patty and Marcie have crushes on Charlie Brown. Let's be real here...Charlie Brown is a nice but bland guy and the kind that girls have crushes on because it feels safe. Neither Peppermint Patty and Marcie are in touch with their feelings at all so they just pick Charlie Brown randomly to crush on. Plus, if they both really felt anything for him, wouldn't they be competing in some way for his attention? Wouldn't they have moments of tension because they both have feelings for the same boy? They would and they don't so it's pretty obvious they don't really give a darn about Charlie Brown.

I predict that Peppermint Patty and Marcie went to college, got drunk after a softball game and made out. They both immediately realized that they had been in love all along. After graduation, they moved to Portland, Oregon, rented a small house and got a black lab. Marcie is getting an advanced degree in library science and Peppermint Patty became a gym teacher. The end.

By the way, as I was searching for images for this post, I ran across Peppermint Patty/Marcie fan fiction. That's right - there are Patty/Marcie shippers out there which proves there is truly fanfic for everyone.

Photo Credit

A Letter to My Cat

Dearest Momo,

We need to talk. There are some real issues in our relationship and, when I've tried to bring them up, you've bitten me. That's why I decided to write to you instead. I understand that it can be difficult to talk about your feelings so I thought that writing to you might make it easier for you to hear my concerns, process them and then respond in a more positive way.

I love you. I want you to know that but I also need some space sometimes. You are beautiful and affectionate and you have a great sense of humor. But lately, you've been clingy. Every time I sit down, you climb onto my chest and start purring. Believe me - I think you are a great singer and I loved it when you purred Rhianna's "Diamonds" to me the other night. It's just that sometimes I need to be able to do work on the laptop and when you come over and get between me and the keyboard it's just awkward.

When you were a kitten, there was plenty of space between your body and the keyboard but, since you've gotten older and - let me be frank - put on a little weight, it just doesn't work. Last night was the last straw because your big fuzzy ass was just all over the track pad and you were draped over my arm and I couldn't even type. I'm sorry to bring up the weight thing - like I said, I think you are beautiful and don't want you to change a thing about your gorgeous self but I do want you to consider sitting next to me instead of on top of me.

It's not just that though. We also need to talk about the dining room table. Lately, you've been lying on the table and it's almost like you are daring me to stop you. I move to get you off and you stare at me and it hurts, Momo. I just wonder how we got to this point. You used to make an effort and dart away but now it's like a standstill.

I realize that you might have issues with me too. I know you are still bitter that I bought that water bowl with the wide base so you couldn't knock it over anymore and I know I rubbed it in your face that I had outsmarted you. I take full responsibility for my immature response and I am sorry for sticking my tongue out at you while doing my victory dance. But you need to talk to me, really talk to me. Not wake me up at 3 a.m. by rustling a plastic bag and then hiding when I get up to talk. It's rude and it's exhausting.

I know change is hard and I am willing to be patient with you but I need to see some effort on your part to change. I know you love me (maybe a little too much) and I love you but all relationships require work and I think it's time we put some into ours.

I look forward to your response...which I really hope is not a dead mouse or bird left on the front stoop.

Love,

Vikki

p.s. Please stop following me into the bathroom or pawing at the door when I lock you out. Please.

Three Muskateers

My kids are loud. I say this all the time and people say, "Oh my god! So are my kids!" and to those people I say - you don't know loud. It's not that my kids are never quiet because they do sometimes sleep but the rest of the time they are talking and singing and often freestyle rapping.

Please enjoy the musical stylings of Miguel and Zeca and appreciate the fact that this was recorded in the car...which is a very tiny space...that moves at high speed...and requires the attention of the driver to maneuver safely.

[audio:http://uppoppedafox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Three-Muskateers.mp3]