Have Fun

I have been a freelance writer for over a year now but I am still figuring out how to stay sane. I spend a lot of time during the day sitting in front of my computer while Luisa sits in front of hers but, when she is gone, I might go a few days without having any real life adult interaction. Texting is a great way to stay connected to friends but it can't be the only connection. Sometimes, you need to get out of the house and do something silly with a friend - have lunch or coffee and have some laughs. Sometimes, a writer needs to go out into the world and forget about narrative arcs and commas. I did that yesterday. I had lunch and coffee with a friend and then went shopping…for nothing in particular. When the day was over, neither of us had purchased a single thing but we shared plenty of laughs. And, if I hadn't gotten out of the house, I wouldn't have been able to share some of the absurdity of real life with you here today...

Who doesn't want to smell like smoked meat? Armpits are delicious.

Why leave a horse head in someone's bed when you can gay it up with a unicorn head?

Beware the crow and her friend, the pigeon.

When the outside matches the inside...

How can life not seem better when these exist?

And sometimes, we find messages in the most unlikely places. Heed the lesson of the coconut, people.

Scattered

I had two ideas for today's but I'm not going to write about either of them because I forgot them. They were really good ideas too but they are gone. I have spent the past half hour sitting in bed with my laptop trying to remember them but my methods for doing so defy explanation.

I roamed around in my blog dashboard, looked at my stats, looked at referrals and then looked at the search terms that led people here today. I noticed someone came here looking for "a fox made out of hearts" and I thought, "What a fabulous idea! I bet something like that exists!" and then I too Googled " a fox made out of hearts." I found one ugly fox made out of hearts and was deeply disappointed but then I saw a fox lunchbox that had hearts on it. So cute. I then convinced myself that I needed a fox heart lunchbox to take to work with me and then I remembered I work from home.

I remembered I write, remembered I was supposed to be writing.

This week has been hectic . Luisa has been out of town. VillageQ was down. I recapped The Fosters. I read all the Listen To Your Mother submissions and met with Tracy and Galit to plan for auditions. And then the kids - school, martial arts, soccer, valentines, a meeting at school. Every day has been carefully planned and, most days, I needed everything to run according to those plans. And, this week, I got lucky because they have.

Recently, Miguel has had trouble remembering to take his lunch to school. He has forgotten assignments at school and we've had to run back to get them or he's forgotten them at home and we've had to take them to him. There was a time when I wanted to let him live with the natural consequences of his disorganization but I know that he can't help it. It's the way his brain works - a million thoughts but not always the one at hand.

My brain doesn't work quite the same as his but sometimes it seems familiar. Sometimes, I am supposed to do one thing and I do another. Sometimes, I have so many ideas that I feel that my head may explode. Sometimes, I have so much to do and I work and work but seem to accomplish nothing. Sometimes, I sit down to write and end up looking at a lunchbox for which I have no use.

But this week was a good one. Things went as expected. I'm tired but everything that needed to be done was done.

And, my scattered little boy (who is no longer little at all) just came in and said, "Mom, go to sleep. You've been staying up too late and getting up too early."

"I will. I just have two more things to finish."

"Did you know that good sleep makes you live longer? At this rate, you'll die at 60!"

"I'll miss you," I said and laughed. He laughed too, thankfully.

I used to look at him and wonder where he came from and, now, I realize we're not so different, really.

Creative. Smart. Easily undone by a lunchbox.

What Else?

Have you ever had one of those moments when you think, "How did I not know that?" I'm not talking about "How did I not know that all of humanity could fit in a sugar cube?" I'm talking about day to day, practical things. The first time I shaved my legs, I took a layer of skin off of my shin from ankle to knee. When my mom came home and found me covered in blood and I explained, she said, "You don't press hard and drag it!" But, I didn't know that because no one had ever told me.

We learn from others and we learn by trial and error but how do we learn something if there are no real consequences of not knowing?

I know you're wondering what the hell I am talking about and I'm going to tell you and you are going to be horrified.

I didn't know you had to clean your oven.

I thought you only had to clean your oven if you spilled something in it. So, when I would hear about people cleaning ovens, I would always think, "Those people are so messy!"

On Monday, I made a chicken pot pie and it overflowed in the oven because I forgot to put it on a cookie sheet. I thought, "Damn! Now, I have to clean the oven."

I got some oven cleaner and read the instructions and it said to leave it on overnight if you had a seriously dirty oven and I thought, "Well, that's a pretty big splotch of goop there in the middle so I'll leave it on overnight." While I was spraying, I thought, "I'll just spray the whole inside of the oven even though it doesn't need it because I'm nothing if not thorough." I sprayed and hummed a little tune as I thought about how proactive I was being about the rest of my oven.

Today, I got my sponge and my water and opened the oven to clean out the goopy spot and then just "wipe down" the rest of the oven.

I made a swipe across the oven door and was shocked.

And that is how I ended up spending my Friday night wearing a headlamp and cleaning my oven. Yes, I wore a headlamp because it's dark in my oven* and, once I had realized the error of my ways, I was determined to clean that oven like it had never been cleaned before! Because it hadn't ever been cleaned before!

I know I shouldn't admit this but it was an innocent mistake. I have spent my entire adult life thinking that I had superior oven management skills because I've never spilled anything in my oven and thinking the rest of y'all don't know how to put a cookie sheet under a casserole.

Yes, I am embarrassed and disgusted and I feel stupid but I am telling this story because, if I didn't know this very basic piece of information, how many other lessons have I missed? WHAT ELSE DON'T I KNOW?!

So, tell me everything.

I'm terrified to find out but it can't be any more terrifying than looking in your dirty oven with a headlamp.

*Note: My oven does not have a window and does not have a light. I have been in the dark literally and figuratively.