Good Morning Monday Thingamajig

The title of this post is the worst because naming things is hard and it's Monday and my brain is sleepy so naming things on a Monday is even harder. Also, I am the worst at SEO (search engine optimization for those who know less than I do which means that I'm probably just spelling it out for myself). But, if anyone ever searches "Good Morning Monday Thingamajig", I am going to be the first thing to come up and, really, isn't that a victory right there? I think it is.

So, this is my new thing I mentioned last week - the thing where I write about “Things I’ve Done This Week When I Should Have Been Writing”. Again, I am the best at naming things!

Last week, I did a lot of writing which is so unlike me. I wrote five blog posts and finished horrible first drafts of two essays for my book. You may be thinking, "Oh Vikki, I'm sure your essay drafts aren't horrible!" and you are very kind and also very wrong.

When I write offline, it is a painful process in which I craft each single word as if I am bringing each one into existence, like the word never existed until I wrote it down. Then, I wander around lamenting my inability to write and annoy every single person in my real life and my online life. It's one of my most (least) charming characteristics. I also get really crabby which is the icing on the charm cake.

What I learned from this self-imposed two draft deadline is that I need to just write things down and then revise and stop being a jerk.

Despite my productivity, I did manage to do some other things...

1. I went to the gym and, as I walked briskly around the track listening to my "Ballin'" playlist, I decided that I should quit writing my book even though it's almost finished. I decided to scrap the project and write a novel!

2. I changed my mind about scrapping my book.

3. Instead of writing, I submitted a picture of my writing space to Where Bloggers Blog. Not pictured: Momo who often lays at my feet.

4. Laurie made me watch videos of famous people singing on Sesame Street. Muppets and Dave Matthews - two of my least favorite things. Lest you think I'm totally heartless, I do have a weak spot for Cookie Monster. I watched the Johnny Cash video because I love Johnny Cash but he was singing with Oscar the Grouch who always makes me sad. Why is Oscar so angry?

5. I also read a book! I started and finished "Where'd You Go, Bernadette?" which was originally recommended to me by Deborah and then again by my former work-wife, Kristin, who graciously loaned me her copy. Everyone should read it - it's hilarious and is the only book to date that Kristin and I have both liked. Remarkable!

6. Last but certainly not least, I had planned to do some writing on Saturday night but instead had dinner with friends. We ate soup made in a cauldron in the back yard. This seems noteworthy, don't you think? How often do you eat soup from a cauldron? It was delicious and very cauldrony.

That's it! Reading, writing and cauldrons! All in a week's work.

A New Plan

I like blogging and I want to blog and yet I am an inconsistent blogger.

That sentence is like "blah blah blah" but with "blog blog blog". I have digressed already! Anyway...

I am going to try something new - a loose editorial plan calendar idea thing. Doesn't that sound exciting?! And nebulous?! Don't you think people should use the word "nebulous" more often?!

Last Spring, I did a few posts called TIDTWWISHBW which stood for "Things I’ve Done This Week When I Should Have Been Writing". Obviously, I am horrible at naming things but I want to bring that long string of letters back as a regular thing because I see a lot of fun and interesting things online when I am procrastinating!

Speaking of procrastinating, the little guys in this post's picture are trying to keep me on task. And failing. Also, those note cards are my book chapters which is exciting in the abstract. Whenever I see those cards, I think "My book! How exciting!" and then I have to write the essays that are outlined on those notecards and I think, "YouTube! Internet!"

So, in that spirit, I want to show you the spoils from last week's procrastination...

1. What does the fox say?

http://youtu.be/jofNR_WkoCE

2. Lin tweeted me a link to Kai Fagerstrom's work, specifically the series "The House in the Woods".  Kai is a Finnish photographer and the shots of animals in this abandoned house in the woods are striking. Keep an eye out for the fox!

3. And last but not least (or maybe I should say "lost but not least"), I took a stroll down memory lane with this video. Funny that I never noticed how horrible the special effects were while I was eating Count Chocula and watching Saturday morning cartoons.

http://youtu.be/qSKIuJWRMaI

Now you have a few things to check out to help you with your procrastination this week! I am always thinking of you.

Froyo

I had a story about Miguel to go with this picture but I forgot it because that's how it goes these days. I didn't write it down and then I forgot because I'm tired and all I could do was dream about a world in which I could sit on the couch drinking a latte without feeling like I should be engaging my children.

I can tell you the story was funny and the wit was all him. It had something to do with a late movie and bedtime and he was hilarious and I loved him more than usual in that moment.

Of course, this picture was taken just about a half hour before the funny story I can't remember and he was funny then too. We were shopping for the last few things he needs for his junior high trip and he needed sunglasses and we were at Target and he had to try on all the sunglasses and I was all "OH MY GOD CAN YOU PLEASE PICK A PAIR SO I DON'T DIE HERE" and he was all "OH MY GOD I LOOK AWESOME IN ALL OF THEM AND I HAVE A MILLION LITTLE JOKES TO MAKE WHILE LOOKING AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR!"

So we went spent a bunch of minutes (my brain is currently incapable of specifics) in the sunglass aisle and then he put on this pair with bling and put on a bunch of chains and said, "Mom! Take my picture! I'm making fun of the Biebs." I took his picture obviously even though two other women in the sunglass section were staring at us like we were crazy and I wanted to say, "Maybe we are crazy but he's kinda funny so you should respect, yo." But I would never say anything to anyone who was judging me. Well, I would if they said something mean to one of my kids but hopefully, if I did speak up, I wouldn't finish the sentence with "yo." Unless maybe I said "Froyo" but why would I say that to someone who was being mean to one of my kids.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Target.

So, he finally picked out a pair of red and black sunglasses that are mirrored and look absolutely ridiculous and then we had to get a swimshirt and he was outraged because he doesn't want to wear a swimshirt when he goes to the Gulf of Mexico and I was all, "WHY?" and he was all, "Mom, have you seen these abs? Why would I hide them?" and I said, "Sunburn" and he said, "Fine. Buy the shirt and if I burn, I'll cover these up but I won't if I don't have to." And I laughed and wondered how I ended up with a kid who is a total jock and has great abs when I couldn't even do the flexed arm hang in elementary school.

We got the swim shirt and then we got a few other things and then we had to get snacks for the trip and he wanted weird things to hide in his back pack like freeze dried strawberries and beef jerky and I said, "But we're supposed to buy snacks to share with everyone and you're not supposed to hoard your own snacks in your backpack!" and he said "Mom, don't worry. You shouldn't have to buy snacks for everyone - what if snacks you bought ended up going to one of my arch enemies?" and I said "You shouldn't have arch enemies! Where is your generosity of spirit?!" and then the old woman in the dried fruit aisle laughed hysterically at us and then went to buy cheese balls.

We compromised and bought secret snacks and snacks for everyone.

Then, we got coffee and listened to K'Naan on the way home and that's when World War Z came up and we had the hilarious conversation that I can't remember but I know you would have loved it.

Well, this post didn't go as expected. Maybe we were all better off when I the blog lay dormant.