Joy
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All day yesterday, I kept telling people, "I am feeling good. I think we are going to win it all." I think it was more optimism than premonition though I'm not opposed to starting my own psychic hotline.
It was a feeling. A vibe. Maybe just a wish.
I had friends over last night and we watched the returns with our kids. Each kid had an electoral map and markers to color in the states as they were called. When they saw all those initial reports of states "too close to call", they became worried. I did too because, when I had my feeling/vibe/wish, it was a landslide kinda thing.
Zeca asked to take off her shirt and said, "I get hot when I'm stressed." Miguel and most of his friends left the room because they couldn't handle the pressure.
Then, Romney got a couple of states and Zeca grew despondent. I kept saying, "Don't worry" even though I had worries of my own. And then, President Obama began to win the ones that mattered and before we knew it - our president was elected to a second term.
Of course, I wanted more than the presidency. I wanted it all. I wanted marriage in Washington and Maine and Maryland. I wanted to defeat the marriage amendment here. I wanted all those who said horribly offensive things to be defeated. But, I've grown accustomed to small victories.
And then there were so many wonderful victories - Claire McCaskill, Elizabeth Warren, Mazie Hirono, Tammy Duckworth and Tammy Baldwin. My hope soared as Maine and Maryland won marriage equality. Washington was winning and so was Minnesota.
It felt like a dream.
But as we waited for Romney's concession speech, the gap here in Minnesota began to narrow. Suddenly, I couldn't bear the thought that we'd win everything but that. I couldn't stand the idea that Maine and Maryland and Washington would win and we would lose.
Shortly after President Obama's acceptance speech, we headed to bed. We were all exhausted and I knew that I couldn't wait up for the amendment results, didn't want to face a possible loss alone.
I woke up this morning to a text from Luisa saying, "Yay for the amendments! Yay for the president!" and I realized, that with the defeat of the marriage amendment and the voter ID amendment, we had truly won it all.
It has been an emotional day - full of joyful tears. For years, on the day after the election, I have been filled with mixed emotions because every win has been coupled with painful losses.
Today was pure joy.
Today my hope was restored.
Today I believe that nothing is impossible.
We won it all. We did it.
