Embracing Imperfection at Family Mealtime

Miguel and Zeca play soccer year around and both did martial arts until recently. Now,  Zeca goes twice weekly without him. She also takes guitar lessons and Miguel has a ton of homework every night now that he's in junior high. Luisa travels for work and is gone for big chunks of time during which I'm taking the kids to activities, supervising homework, preparing all the meals and - the worst part - doing all the dishes while trying to manage my life as a freelance writer. We are busy which is part of what makes family dinner time so important to us. It is the one time each day we know we'll connect with each other. We feel closer to the kids when we know what's going on in their lives and the kids feel closer to us because they have our full attention. Our phones are tucked away in a different room and we are fully present in a way that I'm ashamed to admit is more the exception than the rule.

It didn't surprise me then to learn that families who share meaningful meals together are happier and more emotionally connected. Parents are less likely to feel stress. The kids do better in school and have more confidence. They are hardworking and independent rule followers.*

I think my kids missed the memo about the rule following part of this deal.

It's clear that shared meals are important but family life is also crazy and most of us struggle to find balance between work and family. Plus, there are so many things parents feel bad about when it comes to meals. Maybe you plunge into despair if your chicken isn't free range because "Oh my god! What am I feeding my kids?" Maybe you get pizza more often than you'd like to admit. Maybe your kids bicker over  who gets the "special fork" and while it escalates to the point that you worry someone might actually get shanked, you ponder moving to a yurt. Alone.

We need to let go of the idea that every family dinner has to be idyllic and cut ourselves some slack. We are not perfect. Our families are not perfect. Life is not perfect.

So, how do we embrace the chaos of our busy lives and still sit down together for dinner?

My family does not eat dinner at the same time every day and we do not always eat meals that would look fabulous on Pinterest. Sometimes, we eat dinner at 7:30 p.m. on a weeknight. Sometimes, Luisa is out of town and we have to eat without her. Sometimes, I make pasta and use sauce from a jar and cut up some fresh mozzarella for a little protein and only realize after dinner that I forget to serve a vegetable. Sometimes, we're tired and crabby and still - we sit down at the table together. And if for some reason we can't, we don't dwell on it and try again the next day.

My advice is to be flexible and treat yourself with compassion. We are all works in progress.

I've shared my tips with you. It's your turn to share yours with me. You don't have to tell me to ditch the "special fork" because we dealt with that - nobody gets the special fork!

You can share your tips here but remember that if you use #sharethetable on Facebook or Twitter, you join the greater conversation and Barilla donates 10 meals to Feeding America. Sharing is good.

*This information taken from Share the Table: Benefits of Family Dinner for Parents and Children, a study by Dr. William Doherty

This is a sponsored post on behalf of Barilla, however, my opinions are entirely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive sentiments towards Barilla or their products.

Peep Week 2014 - Day 4

Are we all peeped out? Maybe a little bit? Well, I am running on marshmallow fumes over here. On Tuesday, after spending the day at the mall, I came home and made peep cupcakes before heading out to an evening event for Listen To Your Mother. The best thing about this collision of events is that I knew I'd see Tracy and Galit and could give them some cupcakes so that I wouldn't be stuck with two dozen peepy cupcakes! The greatest challenge of Peep Week isn't always coming up with the ideas. Sometimes, it's scheduling everything so that you don't have to eat more than one peep concoction per day or are not forced into a situation where you must allow your kids to eat more than one peep concoction per day. But when things go awry, we get by with a little help from our friends.

So let's talk cupcakes! I found these cupcake liners and adorable bunny ears on a previous trip to Peeps & Company.

I knew I would be pressed for time so I didn't try to make cupcakes from scratch and instead bought a Pillsbury funfetti cake mix and some plain white frosting. I felt that peeps required funfetti even though I have no idea what the little bits in the mix actually are. While Zeca and I made them, I asked that very question aloud and she patted my shoulder and said, "I think it's best if we don't think about that." Smart girl.

So, we whipped up a batch of funfetti cupcakes and baked them in the peep liners and then decorated them according to the picture on the package, though I didn't pipe the icing.

I had to rush out the door and didn't get to see my kids eat their peep cupcakes but Tracy and Galit were kind enough to send me pictures of their kids enjoying these cute little funfetti peep cupcakes!

This is probably one of my favorite peep things ever because it was easy and because those peeps in bunny ears are irresistible!

Cake Boss

A few weeks ago, I caught my son watching Netflix without permission. I guess it's more accurate to say that his sister caught him and then ratted him out. Hell hath no fury like a little sister denied Netflix only to find out her brother is watching in his room.

I told him I didn't want to hear any of his excuses and took away his iTouch for a week.

When I returned it, he asked if he could watch Netflix and I said he could and he was so excited because he wanted to watch Cake Boss.

That's right - the show my kid had been sneaking was a show about fancy cakes.

Many of you know that we are planning to get married and our kids are at odds over what should be served at the reception - a cake or a cookie.

Miguel has taken his vision to the next level and imagined the cake he wants us to have. He brought down a written note for me the other day and I am posting it in its entirety with his permission:

I'll start out by letting you know that I really know everything there is to know about cakes. This is due to the fact that I watch a show called "Cake Boss" where they create amazing cakes. Well until today I forgot all about the cake for my parents' wedding. Well since I just had learned all about cakes the vision became clear. I want a 3 tiered cake made from chocolate sponge filled with vanilla buttercream. I want the tiers to be covered in red fondant and covered with white roses. Most people would have white cake with red roses but I would like to mix it up. I would like droplines painted gold on all tiers and to top it off I would like models of me and Zeca made out of modeling chocolate on the second tier while my parents are on the top holding hands. I would like to get this cake from Carlo's bakery in Hoboken, New Jersey.

He will be quite disappointed that Carlo's Bakery won't be bringing his vision to life but I hope we can find a decent wedding cake for the occasion to please our very own little cake boss. Bossiness has never looked so adorable.