The One In Which I Relay Important Things...

It would appear that I took last week off from blogging. Chalk that little vacation up to Weather Anger and Winter Bitterness and the fact that every day with subzero temperatures and/or snow makes me snowmotional. In addition to my intolerance of the season, I have been writing offline and working on things related to Listen to Your Mother.

I also re-injured my shoulder/back/neck and spent the weekend on a heating pad and smelling like Ben Gay. ("I been gay forevah!" or feel free to insert your own Ben Gay joke here).

But there are some random things I want to share with you so I dragged my sorry self back to the computer for these news flashes (some are newsworthy, most are not - so lower your expectations):

Saturday night, Luisa and the kids went to visit friends while I limped around the house feeling like an 80 year old man. I was so bored that I peeled and ate an orange. This is of note because I do not like to peel oranges or any fruit really which is why I prefer bananas and berries. Bananas and berries are the fruits of my people...my people being lazy people who don't like to get their hands messy. So, I had an orange and the orange was so tasty that I felt my whole life change in that moment. I might even have another one today. It's a BRAVE NEW WORLD!

Last night, I started feeling a little better and I made strawberry muffins for the urchins of Casa de Fox. I rocked those muffins like a Hunchback Betty Crocker. I was so domestic that I spent all of my dream time last night test driving Toyota Sienna Minivans. Luisa was not in my dream which even Dream Vikki thought was problematic. The car dealer was giving me the hard sell and all I could think was, "Where is Luisa? Why is she not stopping me from impulsively buying a minivan?" The other weird part was that all the minivans were green and I was totally fine with that which, in real life, I would not be. I only drive black or silver cars in real life. Dream Vikki was out of control.

If you have read this far, I want to assure you that I am not under the influence of drugs or alcohol. This is my brain on winter.

Now, to the truly newsworthy...

The deadline for submissions for Listen To Your Mother is this Friday, February 15, 2013!

• Written submissions are open now through February 15, 2013. Send us your stories –ltymtwincities@gmail.com
• Auditions (live readings) will be held March 2nd (and continued on March 9th if needed)
• The show is scheduled for May 9, 2013 at 7pm at the historic Riverview Theater in Minneapolis.

FAQ about the show

Tickets will be available soon through Eventbrite!

Videos of past shows elsewhere

Submit! Get ready to buy tickets! Watch videos! Shop for minivans!

Actually, don't shop for minivans. Well, unless you were going to do that already.

Now...who wants an orange! Peels on me!

The Year of the Fox

I've been seeing foxes everywhere - stuffed foxes, fox mugs, fox pajamas. Each time, I stop and marvel a bit before snapping a picture. At first, the abundance of foxes made me feel like I was a trendsetter, like maybe I should sing Barbara Mandrell's classic country song, "I Was Country (When Country Wasn't Cool)" but change all the words to something fox-related. Now, I'm starting to take it as a sign.

This seems to be the Year of the Fox.

When I typed that as the title of this post, I did a little google search and found some weird Canadian zodiac site that had years associated with animals much like the Chinese zodiac. While the Chinese zodiac doesn't have a fox, the knock-off Canadian one does and I read the following:

People born in the Year of the Fox are the erratic geniuses of the cycle. Clever, skillful, and flexible, they are remarkably inventive and original and can solve the most difficult problems with ease. There are few fields in which Fox people wouldn't be successful but they have a disconcerting habit of being too agreeable. They want to do things now, and if they cannot get started immediately, they become discouraged and sometimes leave their projects.

That sounds just like me in many ways and then I looked at the years associated with the sly fox and lo - there it was...1968, my year.

I take back all the snarky things I've said about Canadians (hey there, Susan - I'm thinking aboot you) - Canadians obviously get me.

So, yes, I am going to proceed as if this is the Year of the Fox - my year. It's time to face my fears and start putting all of my energy into making dreams reality.

In that spirit, I am excited to share some news with all of you.

First, Listen To Your Mother Twin Cities has a venue and a date - our show will take place on the evening of May 9th at the Riverview Theater! An announcement regarding submissions and auditions will be coming soon so keep checking our website for information.

On a more personal note, I was selected for a Beyond the Pure Fellowship for 2013. When I submitted my application, I needed a goal and mine was to finish and pitch my collection of essays. So, I guess I'm going to have to finish it, huh? In December, as part of my work at the Loft, I had to complete an overview of my book and it was scary and exciting all at once because I see it now. It has a title and 17 chapters and I know all that has been written and what has to be finished and it's there, right within my reach.

It's the Year of the Fox. Take note, 2013 - I'm coming for you.

Labels Jars Not People

In college, I met this pretty girl and I liked her a lot and she invited me to hang out in her dorm room and we listened to the Eurythmics and didn't really talk much. Then, at one point, we ended up lying on the floor on our backs, our bodies nearly touching, and I glanced to my left and noticed her dresser had a big sticker on it that read "Label jars not people". And I turned back to look at the girl again and thought, "That is a really dumb sticker and this girl must be a dork." Then, I mocked her a little bit because everyone knows the way to get a girl to like you is to make fun of her.

Scratch that.

Don't ever mock someone you like. That's so Elementary School Boy.

Of course, I did get the girl eventually...but thankfully, when we moved in together she didn't get to bring her dorm dresser with the sticker along.

I'm not sure why I am telling you this little story other than the fact that I want to call your attention to a giveaway at Lesbian Family that involves labels and thought this quaint tale of labels and mockery might be a good introduction to said call to attention.

I realize now that it probably wasn't.

Except that maybe you have jars to label or something else you want to label and if you leave a comment on this post at Lesbian Family, you could win labels which is more exciting than dorm room dressers, right?

If you win, we could label you "Winner" which is better than "Paprika" though we could label you "Paprika" if you want. I mean...my heart is open to all the spices, even herbs. I don't judge.

So go comment (click on the image in the sidebar to head on over) and pass the link along to others so that everyone can label jars not people.